Three Weeks until I am home. I am getting rather excited about moving out of here, and starting on some of my summer goals and routines.
I have been rather proud of myself lately, because I got two midterms back today. In math, I received a 77%, and in Psych, I received a 76%! I am most proud of the latter one, because this whole year, I have been unable to earn the grades I want in Psych. This is my highest! We have one more small test on Thursday, unfortunately, I will not really be able to study for it until Wednesday night. It's only 10% of our mark, but I could definitely bring up my mark even more!
Tomorrow I really need to get back into running. It is supposed to be sunny for the next three days, so hopefully I can get out there, and run off some of this slouchy-ness I am feeling. I also have a set of ab workouts to do called the 300.. today I did all 300. So I'm hoping to tone my abs a bit. I am trying to work on my eating for the last three weeks. It is always a struggle for me to eat right, exercise, and feel good about my body.
I recently learned that I am body obsessed and food obsessed. I am not talking about the occasional check yourself in the mirror, and the feeling guilty of eating some chocolate. I am talking a constant battle that I endure with myself on how I look and feel about myself. I am always criticizing my body, especially my stomach and face. I have extreme insecurities about those body parts. I am always thinking about my love handles and how to cover them up. I won't wear certain styles of clothes, because I am not comfortable with how they show off my body. I am always buying tops that flow or flare at the bottom to cover lumps. I also battle with food. Even though I do eat healthily, I somehow still find times to pig out. When there is food around, I eat until I am food or sick of the food. I am always thinking about what I just ate, and the next meal I will have. I have extreme feelings of guilt of eating food, and instantly check myself in the mirror. Some days it'll take me an hour to dress, just for the simple fact that some part of my body is not looking good.
I told my mom how I was feeling, and how I wanted to find someone to help me deal with these feelings. I can't think of a time when I have not been thinking of my body/food. It's really sad and annoying to myself to have to cope with these thoughts I have. I obviously don't want to be obsessed with weight/body/food/etc... but it's something I have dealt with for as long as I can remember.
It's time to start feeling better.
Going home is going to help, where I'll have my mom to help plan work-outs and meals, and hopefully I'll learn to somehow be comfortable with myself.
To end on a happier note, my girls came over tonight to watch The Hills. Both episodes were really good! I missed having the show in my life. Now all I need is all my regular prime time shows to return. Then I'll be set. Set to work, watch tv, and spend the majority of my time with my family. I am so excited. I've missed them!
xx
Mar 31, 2008
Mar 30, 2008
whirlwinds
Wow, it has been 11 days since I last posted a blog...I never go that long without one! Anyways, since I last wrote, I have been busy as ever with my Dad's visit, going to Nanaimo, and just have Dale here.
My Dad, Carli, and, I left to Nanaimo around 11:30 on Good Friday. When we were on the Malahat, we hit a huge snow storm, and it was freezing, but we did manage to get out and take a few pictures. I have not seen snow since December. Anyways we were in Nanaimo around 1, then we had a visit with my uncle for a bit. Cindy was at work, so I decided to go for a run. I came back and Carli and I had a photo shoot in my uncle's back yard. It was freezing out, but so much fun because they have lots of cool things we could set scenes up with. That night we had a feast of steak, potatoes and vegetables. After dinner we sat around drinking wine, and then watched some tv and ate ice cream out of little cups.
The next day we woke up to a big brunch, then hit the road for a walk around old Nanaimo. We actually spent about 3 hours walking.. everything is in walking distance from where they live, so we went down to the water, around to different sights, for coffee, and a bit more walking and photo taking. Our uncle cooked us salmon that night (mmmmhm!), and we drank more wine. Then we watched a foreign movie called "My Life as a Dog", it was pretty good. We also ate apple crumble (another mhmm!).
The next morning was Easter Sunday, my uncle cooked us blueberry pancakes, and we had an Easter egg hunt around the house, and in the yard! It was pretty fun, and nice of the Easter bunny to drop on by. haha. We then headed back to Victoria, and stopped at another relatives for a quick visit and to drop off someone.
My Dad and I dropped off Carli, and then we went to take a look at the condo we were interested in. It was super nice, but sadly, probably a no.
We came back up to campus, and it was pouring rain, so my poor Dad had to pack up all my home things, and got soaking wet. Then we went and ate some lunch, and then he left.
Dale arrived on Monday afternoon, and I can't believe it's Sunday evening already! Time always goes by so fast when I'm with him.
On Monday we just hung out, and it was gorgeous out, so we walked to Safeway to pick up some dinner, then walked back. Tuesday we went for a run, played tennis, and went down to rent some movies and get subway. On Wednesday, I had class, but Dale come with me to my Nutrition class. Wednesday night we met up with Kayla and went over to Felicita's for beer and nachos. On Thursday, I had classes all day, and exams, so Dale just hung out. That night we went out for dinns at Earls. It was delicious as usual. We then came home and watched movies. On Friday we headed downtown to shop for a bit, then got some dinner, and headed to the early show to see 21. It is definitely my new favorite movie. Everyone should see it! Plus, it made me love Vegas all over again, and miss it. On Saturday, we spent the afternoon with one of Dale's friends of his family's. We got to go out towards the ferries to see Al's boat, then went back to their amazing house. It took all my energy from going totally ga-ga over the place. Not only was the house beautiful, the yard/pool/beach/PARK was all amazing, and all theirs. We had dinner with Al and his wife, Sharon. Afterwards we drank tea, and watched the hockey game. Then Dale and I got dropped off by Al. Today we were going to climb Mt. Tolmie, but since the weather was a bit sketchy, we just walked down to return the movies, grab some groceries, and get lunch at subway. Then we just hung out til Dale had to leave.
I am doing okay, but lonely. The only thing really keeping me happy is knowing I am going home in three weeks. I can't believe that this year is almost over, it has flown by! Well, especially this semester! jeepers. I am excited to get home and start working. I talked to my mom about flying down to see Dale for his birthday. So, hopefully I will see him in about a month and a half. Gosh, that is still quite awhile away. I hope it goes by fast. I think it will.
xx
My Dad, Carli, and, I left to Nanaimo around 11:30 on Good Friday. When we were on the Malahat, we hit a huge snow storm, and it was freezing, but we did manage to get out and take a few pictures. I have not seen snow since December. Anyways we were in Nanaimo around 1, then we had a visit with my uncle for a bit. Cindy was at work, so I decided to go for a run. I came back and Carli and I had a photo shoot in my uncle's back yard. It was freezing out, but so much fun because they have lots of cool things we could set scenes up with. That night we had a feast of steak, potatoes and vegetables. After dinner we sat around drinking wine, and then watched some tv and ate ice cream out of little cups.
The next day we woke up to a big brunch, then hit the road for a walk around old Nanaimo. We actually spent about 3 hours walking.. everything is in walking distance from where they live, so we went down to the water, around to different sights, for coffee, and a bit more walking and photo taking. Our uncle cooked us salmon that night (mmmmhm!), and we drank more wine. Then we watched a foreign movie called "My Life as a Dog", it was pretty good. We also ate apple crumble (another mhmm!).
The next morning was Easter Sunday, my uncle cooked us blueberry pancakes, and we had an Easter egg hunt around the house, and in the yard! It was pretty fun, and nice of the Easter bunny to drop on by. haha. We then headed back to Victoria, and stopped at another relatives for a quick visit and to drop off someone.
My Dad and I dropped off Carli, and then we went to take a look at the condo we were interested in. It was super nice, but sadly, probably a no.
We came back up to campus, and it was pouring rain, so my poor Dad had to pack up all my home things, and got soaking wet. Then we went and ate some lunch, and then he left.
Dale arrived on Monday afternoon, and I can't believe it's Sunday evening already! Time always goes by so fast when I'm with him.
On Monday we just hung out, and it was gorgeous out, so we walked to Safeway to pick up some dinner, then walked back. Tuesday we went for a run, played tennis, and went down to rent some movies and get subway. On Wednesday, I had class, but Dale come with me to my Nutrition class. Wednesday night we met up with Kayla and went over to Felicita's for beer and nachos. On Thursday, I had classes all day, and exams, so Dale just hung out. That night we went out for dinns at Earls. It was delicious as usual. We then came home and watched movies. On Friday we headed downtown to shop for a bit, then got some dinner, and headed to the early show to see 21. It is definitely my new favorite movie. Everyone should see it! Plus, it made me love Vegas all over again, and miss it. On Saturday, we spent the afternoon with one of Dale's friends of his family's. We got to go out towards the ferries to see Al's boat, then went back to their amazing house. It took all my energy from going totally ga-ga over the place. Not only was the house beautiful, the yard/pool/beach/PARK was all amazing, and all theirs. We had dinner with Al and his wife, Sharon. Afterwards we drank tea, and watched the hockey game. Then Dale and I got dropped off by Al. Today we were going to climb Mt. Tolmie, but since the weather was a bit sketchy, we just walked down to return the movies, grab some groceries, and get lunch at subway. Then we just hung out til Dale had to leave.
I am doing okay, but lonely. The only thing really keeping me happy is knowing I am going home in three weeks. I can't believe that this year is almost over, it has flown by! Well, especially this semester! jeepers. I am excited to get home and start working. I talked to my mom about flying down to see Dale for his birthday. So, hopefully I will see him in about a month and a half. Gosh, that is still quite awhile away. I hope it goes by fast. I think it will.
xx
Mar 19, 2008
packing up
Hola. Today my Dad arrived in Victoria! We went for lunch, and he helped me to use some meal points. I asked for my balance, and I am at $761 .. wow, that is a lot to spend in about 5 weeks! I have some special plans though for spending those points. Then, I had two classes, and a quiz...so I met up with my Dad again around 730. He brought me banana boxes (to pack!) and more computer paper (hip hip!). Then we headed over to Karen and Doug's. They are related to us somehow .. some sort of cousins.. hehe. Anyways. Karen made muffins, and Doug made tea.. and we all had a nice visit around their living room. I miss family time. I was telling Dale how important family is to me. It's amazing how you can go so long without seeing some people, and then when you finally see them.. it feels as if not even a day has passed. I like the comfortable feeling of family. Anyways, then my Dad drove me back, and dropped me off..so I'm sitting here now, waiting for Dale to call.
Tomorrow, I have early class, then a three hour break. I have a midterm at 1.. so in between class.. I'll be last minute studying and memorizing formulas for all sorts of things: volume, surface area, regular area. gosh. Then afterwards, I'm meeting up with my Dad and we're going on a hunt for more printer ink. Then I have one more class, and then I think that we're going for dinner with Carli.
On Friday, we have two places set up to view. One is a downtown condo, and one is a basement suite, sort of near the university. I am excited to do some house hunting again. I am excited about being out of residence, and into my own place. It's weird how you get accustomed to res. Hearing everyone's conversation, realizing that there is NO soap or towels in the bathrooms, learning everyone's silly habits, knowing exactly what everyone is doing, recognizing voices so easily (there are not sound proof walls)... etc. I am not going to miss residence. My Dad asked me today what I would rate my experience on a scale of 1-10. I said 4. It's been average. It has not been life-changing, and not something that brings fabulous memories to mind. I know I haven't made any good friends in my building, but it's hard to relate to high school girls full of their own drama, who still run around screaming and yelling (okay, I admit I do that sometimes too.. but only when I am drunk or terribly excited). It's also hard when all the guys are immature, skinny, and awkward still. They all into excessive binge drinking, and smoking pot at 10 a.m. is considered part of the routine. Oh yes, that's another thing to get used to in res: the constant smell of pot, don't forget garbage littered hallways, and bathrooms sprayed in water, and cluttered with toilet paper. Not this is not all to say that res has been horrible. I haven't minded it. It has given me the chance to be on my own, but not totally alone. I have met some people, and lived the experience. But I think unless you are fresh out of high school, a social butterfly, and willing to binge drink Wednesday through Friday.. then you are maybe not right for residence. Anyways, point said.
Next... I wish I were in Mexico. There is a webcam at the place where my Mom and Brother are staying. I keep it on 24/7.. because somehow just watching live people in Mexico seems to be both familiar and happy. I think I saw my Mom and Brother today. That was also nice. Someone else drew a heart and wrote 'hi', I thought that was also nice too. I pretended it was for me. I hope to go to Mexico either this summer, or next year for sure. I miss it so bad.. and I'm ready to be a beach bum.
Okay, this is enough for tonight. My eyes are sleepy, and my head is tired of studying and thinking of formulas.
I'm off to talk to my love.
love & happiness.
xx
Tomorrow, I have early class, then a three hour break. I have a midterm at 1.. so in between class.. I'll be last minute studying and memorizing formulas for all sorts of things: volume, surface area, regular area. gosh. Then afterwards, I'm meeting up with my Dad and we're going on a hunt for more printer ink. Then I have one more class, and then I think that we're going for dinner with Carli.
On Friday, we have two places set up to view. One is a downtown condo, and one is a basement suite, sort of near the university. I am excited to do some house hunting again. I am excited about being out of residence, and into my own place. It's weird how you get accustomed to res. Hearing everyone's conversation, realizing that there is NO soap or towels in the bathrooms, learning everyone's silly habits, knowing exactly what everyone is doing, recognizing voices so easily (there are not sound proof walls)... etc. I am not going to miss residence. My Dad asked me today what I would rate my experience on a scale of 1-10. I said 4. It's been average. It has not been life-changing, and not something that brings fabulous memories to mind. I know I haven't made any good friends in my building, but it's hard to relate to high school girls full of their own drama, who still run around screaming and yelling (okay, I admit I do that sometimes too.. but only when I am drunk or terribly excited). It's also hard when all the guys are immature, skinny, and awkward still. They all into excessive binge drinking, and smoking pot at 10 a.m. is considered part of the routine. Oh yes, that's another thing to get used to in res: the constant smell of pot, don't forget garbage littered hallways, and bathrooms sprayed in water, and cluttered with toilet paper. Not this is not all to say that res has been horrible. I haven't minded it. It has given me the chance to be on my own, but not totally alone. I have met some people, and lived the experience. But I think unless you are fresh out of high school, a social butterfly, and willing to binge drink Wednesday through Friday.. then you are maybe not right for residence. Anyways, point said.
Next... I wish I were in Mexico. There is a webcam at the place where my Mom and Brother are staying. I keep it on 24/7.. because somehow just watching live people in Mexico seems to be both familiar and happy. I think I saw my Mom and Brother today. That was also nice. Someone else drew a heart and wrote 'hi', I thought that was also nice too. I pretended it was for me. I hope to go to Mexico either this summer, or next year for sure. I miss it so bad.. and I'm ready to be a beach bum.
Okay, this is enough for tonight. My eyes are sleepy, and my head is tired of studying and thinking of formulas.
I'm off to talk to my love.
love & happiness.
xx
Mar 18, 2008
updates.
It's beautiful out today. I had my doubts earlier this morning when I went running...but ever since about noon.. it's been gorgeous! Although I have only been admiring it from my window. I am stuck inside studying math, and I would go outside to study.. but I have too many things to keep track of. Tomorrow, my Dad will be here! I am so excited for this upcoming week and a half. Tonight I am just going to continue to study for math, as well as astronomy. Then later, I'll be watching One Tree Hill. It looks goood!
Tomorrow I am just going to wake up and go running again. And then hopefully study a bit more. Then I'll have to figure out what my Dad is up to, and when he'll be arriving. Then I have some classes tomorrow evening, so I'm not sure what we're up to for the night!
Enjoy the sun. I hope it lasts!
xx
Tomorrow I am just going to wake up and go running again. And then hopefully study a bit more. Then I'll have to figure out what my Dad is up to, and when he'll be arriving. Then I have some classes tomorrow evening, so I'm not sure what we're up to for the night!
Enjoy the sun. I hope it lasts!
xx
Mar 17, 2008
There is news that Beverly Hills 90210 may be coming back to t.v. on the CW network. I have died and gone to heaven.
Besides that news, there is not a lot to report with me. Today I ended up skipping my first class. So I woke up around 9, and got ready to meet up with a girl from math. We went over our homework. I met up with Carli for lunch at Village Greens. Then we walked over together for our class. The rest of my afternoon was filled with three classes, which went by surprisingly fast.
Tomorrow I hope to run if it is not raining. Then for the rest of the day, I need to study for my math midterm. There is a ton of memorizing formulas. Other than that, I have to start studying for our second last (yeeeow!) astronomy quiz and finish up a works cited thing for English.
On Wednesday, my Dad and Aunt will be here! My gramma may come over for a visit too. We're going to get together after my quiz on Wednesday night. On Friday, Carli, my Dad, and I are heading up to Nanaimo to visit my Uncle and Aunt. We're going to spend the weekend there, until Sunday afternoon. So hopefully we have a little Easter tradition!
Then, on Easter Monday, Dale will be here! I am beyond excited for that. The next two weeks are going to be awesome. And then.. I only have one week of classes left! hip hip. I am terribly excited.
xx
Besides that news, there is not a lot to report with me. Today I ended up skipping my first class. So I woke up around 9, and got ready to meet up with a girl from math. We went over our homework. I met up with Carli for lunch at Village Greens. Then we walked over together for our class. The rest of my afternoon was filled with three classes, which went by surprisingly fast.
Tomorrow I hope to run if it is not raining. Then for the rest of the day, I need to study for my math midterm. There is a ton of memorizing formulas. Other than that, I have to start studying for our second last (yeeeow!) astronomy quiz and finish up a works cited thing for English.
On Wednesday, my Dad and Aunt will be here! My gramma may come over for a visit too. We're going to get together after my quiz on Wednesday night. On Friday, Carli, my Dad, and I are heading up to Nanaimo to visit my Uncle and Aunt. We're going to spend the weekend there, until Sunday afternoon. So hopefully we have a little Easter tradition!
Then, on Easter Monday, Dale will be here! I am beyond excited for that. The next two weeks are going to be awesome. And then.. I only have one week of classes left! hip hip. I am terribly excited.
xx
Mar 15, 2008
thoughts and processes.
I remember my grade 5 teacher telling us that 'nice' was a boring word. We were told to avoid it as much as possible in our writing. I like the word 'nice'. I think it's a little plain, but who said plain was boring?Mar 13, 2008
refresher
- Main Entry:
- 1romp
- Pronunciation:
- \ˈrämp, ˈrȯmp\
- Function:
- noun
- Etymology:
- partly alteration of 2ramp; partly alteration of ramp bold woman
- Date:
- 1691
1: one that romps; especially : a romping girl or woman2 a: high-spirited, carefree, and boisterous play b: something suggestive of such play: as (1): a light fast-paced narrative, dramatic, or musical work usually in a comic mood (2): an episode of lovemaking 3: an easy winning pace.
Mar 11, 2008
summer time must-do's
After talking to Dale, my brother, Tash and my momma, I came up with some things that I really want to accomplish and do throughout the summer:
1. run, run, run
2. learn to use photoshop
3. cook often, in preparation for next school year.
4. play tennis, frisbee, and catch.
5. tan
6. swim
7. camp out at Dale's cabin
8. have lots of family dinners
9. pre-drink
10. work hard, earn money
11. be stylish
12. lift weights
13. have picnics
etc, etc, etc!
1. run, run, run
2. learn to use photoshop
3. cook often, in preparation for next school year.
4. play tennis, frisbee, and catch.
5. tan
6. swim
7. camp out at Dale's cabin
8. have lots of family dinners
9. pre-drink
10. work hard, earn money
11. be stylish
12. lift weights
13. have picnics
etc, etc, etc!
Mar 10, 2008
love stones
Wanderers like us, when we go to the beach we find a peaceful utopia.
Wanderers like us, when we go to the beach
we're equal: the ocean is meant for everyone.
Wanderers like us, when we go to the beach
we sit in silence and devour each other's thoughts.
Wanderers like us, when we go to the beach
we soak up the sun.
Wanderers like us, when we go to the beach
we always plan on coming back.
Mar 9, 2008
sunday brunch
'cause I love the way you say 'good morning'
and you take me the way I am.
'cause I love the way you call me 'baby'
and you take me the way I am.
and you take me the way I am.
'cause I love the way you call me 'baby'
and you take me the way I am.
Mar 7, 2008
Mar 6, 2008
this one goes out to you.
On days when the sun is shining, and the lighting is perfect, my heart is bursting just to be with you. I miss those summer day loves.
Mar 5, 2008
what we talk about when we talk about love
I have not really written a day-to-day blog in awhile. So, here goes.
I have been really enjoying Victoria lately. I adjusted back to being without my boy, and now am into an excellent routine. I started running again last Friday and I went everyday on the weekend. And I've already gone twice this week. I am really excited because I have set some goals with my running and getting back into shape. I am also eating pretty well. Although it is not perfect, I have learned that treating yourself in moderation is not a bad thing. And sometimes, I like to treat myself a few times a week.
School, well is school. I am getting pretty fed up with classes. I am especially annoyed with my Astronomy class. At the beginning of September, I was so excited about that class. And well, it has let me down. It is not quite as interesting and romantic as I thought it to be. Also, Psychology is not going so great. We had test numero two on Monday, and I got a whopping 64% ... again. I am going to talk to my TA tomorrow about ways to improve on my multiple choice skills. We still have two more tests, so I really want to bring my mark up. I know I can do it. Other than Astronomy, I am really enjoying my classes, but I am ready to be in exam mode. I think we have 4 more weeks of classes, and then done!
Tomorrow night I am heading out on the town with Carli and Amy. We are going to meet up downtown and go for dinner. At 8 we are going to a dance/theater performance type of thing. I am not really sure what to expect of it, but I am excited! Sierra and I are thinking of taking a mini-road trip on Saturday, up island. I hope it's sunny, and that will make our adventures all that more enjoyable.
More words later.
xx
I have been really enjoying Victoria lately. I adjusted back to being without my boy, and now am into an excellent routine. I started running again last Friday and I went everyday on the weekend. And I've already gone twice this week. I am really excited because I have set some goals with my running and getting back into shape. I am also eating pretty well. Although it is not perfect, I have learned that treating yourself in moderation is not a bad thing. And sometimes, I like to treat myself a few times a week.
School, well is school. I am getting pretty fed up with classes. I am especially annoyed with my Astronomy class. At the beginning of September, I was so excited about that class. And well, it has let me down. It is not quite as interesting and romantic as I thought it to be. Also, Psychology is not going so great. We had test numero two on Monday, and I got a whopping 64% ... again. I am going to talk to my TA tomorrow about ways to improve on my multiple choice skills. We still have two more tests, so I really want to bring my mark up. I know I can do it. Other than Astronomy, I am really enjoying my classes, but I am ready to be in exam mode. I think we have 4 more weeks of classes, and then done!
Tomorrow night I am heading out on the town with Carli and Amy. We are going to meet up downtown and go for dinner. At 8 we are going to a dance/theater performance type of thing. I am not really sure what to expect of it, but I am excited! Sierra and I are thinking of taking a mini-road trip on Saturday, up island. I hope it's sunny, and that will make our adventures all that more enjoyable.
More words later.
xx
Mar 3, 2008
the mean reds vs. the blues
"The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long. You're just sad, that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid, and you don't know what you're afraid of."
-Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's
-Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany's
Mar 1, 2008
hey dear, bat an eyelash.
Young dear, don’t tell me that everything you could possibly need and want is right where you are. Don’t tell me such lies until you explore first. You are never going to find Opportunity dwelling in your small nest that you call home. There is a time when you must move away from past dreams, hopes, and loves. If only you would try something new. You know my dear, you can grow if you explore. If you insist on staying in your cozy niche with your lame attitude of settling where you started, then I can’t help but stifle my laugh. You need to get out, literally remove yourself from old comforts, and get out. You have many things to learn my dear. You are probably still naïve (did you ever consider that?). Opportunity is staring you straight in the eye, and for some odd reason, you won’t bat an eyelash and realize that you are stuck (do you want to be stuck?). Don’t you try to tell me that what I need is what you have. You see my dear, I need more than that. You won’t admit that you need more too. You are in denial. You are afraid of seizing moments and taking chances. I wish that Opportunity would grab your hand and force you to explore. I could scream, and you still wouldn’t get it. Someday you may, but probably not. For you, my dear, have already settled. And we are far too young to settle.
With all my frustrations lately about my home town, opportunity, judgment, and know-it-alls... I came up with this. I was debating whether to put it up on my blog, because I wasn't sure if it was a bit too much, or if I was judging others by writing this. Anyways, it's up. So, there.
xx
With all my frustrations lately about my home town, opportunity, judgment, and know-it-alls... I came up with this. I was debating whether to put it up on my blog, because I wasn't sure if it was a bit too much, or if I was judging others by writing this. Anyways, it's up. So, there.
xx
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