divine

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
it is love said she)

the world spins madly on

timeless

daaaaaang

Today was my last day of vacation before I start work. I woke up at 8 a.m. to jump start my day. I made myself a blueberry smoothie and sat down to watch Cribs. Then I got ready for my day. I decided to have a little photo shoot. I had some particular ideas in which I really needed the tripod. Well, I could not find the tripod anywhere...so I called my Dad at work, but he wasn't in his classroom. So, I decided to be resourceful...I found this long tall hard plastic tube thing in my Dad's shop. It stood on its' own, and my camera rested nicely on the top...so I decided to use it! Everything was going fine, pictures were being taken, blah blah, and then...it happened...what I sort of knew would happen. The tube lost it's balance, and my camera went flying to the ground. It was broken: I knew it. The lense is all crooked, and won't close back into the camera. Well, I just know that there is no warranty for clumsy (and thoughtless) people like me. So, I called my parents and explained my situation. I told them I deserved credit for my resourcefulness, and that in all fairness I did call my Dad first to ask where the tripod was! I am now planning on going to Staples, and begging them to send it away for free, but I know it will not happen. So, in that case, I am already online looking for a new camera. Secretly, I did want a new camera this summer... so maybe this is the perfect opportunity?? Now, all I need is the money...only problem is I am in dire need of summer clothes and saving for school...hm hm hm.

Anyways, for the rest of my day I just had tea with Tash to do some planning, and then went to the gym for step class. Now I am tired, and totally looking forward to work tomorrow (I am serious; I am bored). However, before work comes a 7:45 wake up call and heading to the gym. Yipee. Bring it on.

"The ultimate truth of who you are is not I am this or I am that, but I Am."

-e.t.

Today my mom and I went to the Community Forrest and went running for an astonishing time of 44 minutes! I usually only run for 20-30 minutes, so this was a great day. It was also sunny out, and quite warm for an April day. However, the wind was blowing, and it was making me a little mad. I went outside to take some pictures, but without my Dad's tripod, I was having trouble finding places to set up my camera. Tonight I visited with my friend Christine "Bean", as I usually call her. It's nice to have another friend around common morals and values, and ideas on looove.
I only have two more days off until I am back to Dairy Queen. I think that tomorrow Lauren and I are going downtown to Winners. Other than that, I don't have a lot of set plans. I am really trying to get to bed between 11-12 each night so that I can wake up around 8 for the days that I work at 11. I would love to be able to get up at 8 and go to the gym before my shifts...however, I just know that is not going to happen.

Anyways, I am off to read more of Eckhart Tolle's words.
Sweet dreams.
xx

for whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea

e.e. cummings

flowing words.

"Words, no matter whether they are vocalized and made into sounds or remain unspoken as thoughts, can cast an almost hypnotic spell upon you. You easily lose yourself in them, become hypnotized into implicitly believing that when you have attached a word to something, you what it is. The fact is: You don't know what it is. You have only covered up the mystery with a label. Everything, a bird, a tree, even a simple stone, and certainly a human being, is ultimately unknowable. This is because it has unfathomable depth. All we can perceive, experience, think about, is the surface layer of reality, less than the tip of an iceburg.
The quicker you are in attaching verbal or mental labels to things, people, or situations, the more shallow and lifeless your reality becomes, and the more deadened you become to reality, the miracle of life that continuously unfolds winthin and around you. In this way, cleverness may be gained, but wisdom is lost, and so are joy, love, creativity, and aliveness. They are concealed in the still gap between the perception and the interpretation. Of course we have to use words and thoughts. They have their own beauty--but do we need to become imprisoned in them?
Words reduce reality to something the human mind can grasp, which isn't very much. Language consists of five basic sounds produced by the vocal cords. They are the vowels a, e, i, o, u. The other sounds are consonants produced by air pressure: s, f, g, and so forth. Do you believe some combination of such basic sounds could ever explain who you are, or the ultimate purpose of the universe?"

-E.T.

thought processes.

"Many people are already aware of the difference between spirituality and religion. They realize that having a belief system - a set of thoughts that you regard as the absolute truth-does not make you spiritual no matter what the nature of those beliefs is. In fact, the more you make your thoughts (beliefs) into your identity, the more cut off you are from the spiritual dimension within yourself. Many "religious" people are stuck at the level. They equate truth with thought, and as they are completely identified with thought (their mind), they claim to be in sole possession of the truth in an unconscious attempt to protect their identity. They don't realize the limitations of their thought."

-E.T.

raw sugar

location, location, location

Audrey and I finally made it home safe and sound. But, here in this town, is not where our hearts are.

home home home.

I arrived home on Tuesday night. After a few setbacks of getting to the airport and getting checked in.. I made it home to Cranbrook!
I spent my first night just hanging out with my family and settling into my room.
Yesterday, I woke up and started to unpack all of my junk. I didn't realize how much stuff i brought home until it was all piled up in my room. I spent all afternoon organizing and rearranging things. Then, I took my brother to work to write his note, and we went downtown to pick out a tie for an event he is going to this weekend. Afterwards, I went to the gym with my mom and I did a 15 minute run to warm up, then I did some arm weights, and then my mom, Chels and I did the step class. I was totally lost and just ended up jumping around haha. But, it was actually a great workout and pretty fun!
Then, last night I totally crashed, and was exhausted by 9. I just laid in bed and caught up on One Tree Hill and Gossip Girl. Then, I ended up falling asleep until Dale texted me. We talked on ichat for a bit.. and then i went back to bed.

Today, I had Tash over for tea. This afternoon I need to finish my unpacking! Later, I am driving James to work and then talk to my bosses. Later my mom and I are going running, and then I will probably go to the gym to lift weights.

It's good to be home. It's comfortable.
xx

pitter patter goes my heart.

there'll be girls across the nation that will this up babe:
know that it's your soul but could you bottle it up and
get down to the heart of it,
no it's my heart you're shit out of luck
don't make me tell you again my love love love love
love love love love.
only thing i ever could need, only one good thing
worth trying to be and it's
love

i do it for love.

You'll hear the beautiful sound of love coming down
Love on the rocks.

love on the rocks

Today has been an unbelievably productive day! I was up early at 7:30 a.m. for my astronomy exam. I got in a good breakfast before and then headed over to the gym. The exam went okay. It was still hard, but I feel that I did some good reviewing yesterday with Amy... so I'm hoping that it paid off. After my exam I finally re-did my English paper, so I feel extremely good about that. I just have to hand it in tomorrow! Then, I went to my math tutorial. It wasn't as good as the last because people were asking repeat questions that we had already went over on Monday. Now, I am just back in my room watching 90210.

xx

TREY IS COOL

homecoming

This time next week I will be home! I have a busy time coming up for the rest of my time in Victoria. Today I got up super early to finish reading all the Astronomy chapters. Then I went to mail Dale a little present, get coin for laundry (last time doing laundry here!!), and grab some lunch, and a BIG coffee to keep me going. At 1 p.m., Amy came over and we had a huge review session for Astronomy and caught up (I haven't seen that girl in quite some time!). We studied until just after 5 p.m. Then I went over to the caf to grab some dinner. Now, I have just been reviewing the chapter summaries. I think that I will not review too much more because my head is going to explode with all the information!

Anyways, here's an outline for the rest of my time in Victoria:

Wednesday: Astronomy exam in the morning, math tutorial in the afternoon, and then finishing up my last English paper.
Thursday: Math tutorial in the morning, and then hard-core math reviewing for the afternoon and night
Friday: math reviewing in the morning, haircut at 1:30, then a little bit of shopping, going out with Alex and Sierra (we're making jell-o shooters and then going out dancing!)
Saturday: I have my English exam at 2:00p.m., and then packing up all my things for my Uncle to pick up, plus a little math studying
Sunday: my Uncle will be here to get my t.v., fridge, printer, winter clothes, etc. Then, I'll probably get him to drive me to Carli's where I'll be staying for the next two nights.
Monday: math tutorial, and all day math reviewing
Tuesday: Math final at 9:00 a.m., then celebration lunch with Amy, then I'll be leaving to go home!!

See You All Soon!
xxoo

pocketful of sunshine

I got a love, and I know that it's all mine.

sunshine wonders.

8 Days until I am home!

Today I spent the morning and the afternoon studying astronomy in the library. Now, I am back watching 90210. In an hour I have a math tutorial until 8:00 p.m.

I am excited because there are two new episodes of the Hills on tonight, and an all new Gossip Girl. I am not sure when I will get to watch them because after math I may go back to the library to study more astronomy.

Tomorrow I am hoping that the weather is good so that I can go running. It's been all over the place today, and sort of gross...but now it's beautiful out! Tomorrow afternoon Amy is coming up to campus and we're going to study Astronomy and do a big review.

cinderella's on her bedroom floor

home again

Well, not home, home. But, I am not back in Victoria. I have 9 more days! Wow. This year has flown by. I had pretty easy travels home today. First, Sam drove me to the ferry, and we stopped at this other great place to get bubble tea. I got red grapefruit! It was so good. Grapefruit is my favorite thing at the moment. At the library cafe, there is a grilled chicken salad that comes with grapefruit vinaigrette...it's SO good! I'm actually having that right now. Also, everyday I get the fruit cup at the cafe that comes with oranges, grapefruit, and pineapple. It's also SO good haha.
Anyways, so then I took the ferry, and was lucky to get a direct bus home.

Tonight I am just resting, unpacking, and hanging out. I am really tired. I didn't have the greatest sleeps this weekend, so I'm sleepy. Anyways, I'll just leave you be with some things on my mind:

-I am looking forward to seeing my family, sleeping in my own bed, and home cooked meals
-I am excited to start running in Cranbrook
-I miss Dale and I am hoping that he comes home for a weekend sometime in May
-I am tired of studying for astronomy, and feel defeated about how much information there is
-I am worried about re-doing my English paper, and afraid that it is not worth it and too time consuming
-I am excited for Friday jell-o shooters and dancing!


Happy Sundays.
xx

see you again

As I'm sitting here listening to some Miley Cyrus on my itunes, I am realizing how much I love Vancouver. I could really live here. I know it's such a big city and all, with tons of people.... blah blah blah. But I think people can get over that and realize how many GREAT things there are to do here. The one thing I appreciated this weekend was all the neat little places to eat. Last night SamSam took me to get bubble tea. Gosh, I haven't had bubble tea since the sumsum and it was soo good. Anyways, the place we got it was so cute and friendly, and quite trendy too. Anyways, and the shopping here, I won't even get started on.

So my Aunt at sushi tonight was asking me if I related to being Chinese more or less than I related to being Caucasian. I told her that I have always thought of myself as Chinese, and that if people were to ask what race I was, I would say Chinese. She also said that SamSam thinks the same way I do. And the weird thing is that up until grade 11, no one made my ethnicity a big deal. I mean everyone knew that I was part Chinese, but until Mt. Baker it was never such a big deal. Well, I think it's awesome, and I like to talk about being Chinese...so if anyone ever wants to talk about it, feel free. I just find it interesting I guess.

Anyways, tomorrow I am headed home on the 3:00 ferry, and will probably be back in Victoria around 5:30/5:45.

Now, I am off to study more astronomy and be a book worm.

xx

welcome, spring.

whatever you want

city things

Today I got my Vancouver shopping fill. I hit up Robson and made my first stop down on Granville at Urban Outfitters. I managed to get a pair of gray pants, a long cardigan, and a pair of sandals. Then I went to Mac and used my gift certificate from Beanie to buy a new eyeshadow. Also, I had six empty containers, so I got another eyeshadow for free too! Then I went up to Aritzia, and bought the long sweater that I have wanted since February! I also had a gift certificate from Beanie... so that helped with my purchase too! I headed back down the way I came, and stopped at Chapters to pick up the book that Trey was telling me about. I went back to Urban Outfitters and got two pairs of earrings and two pairs of sunglasses. Then, as I waited for my cousin I went to Starbucks and started to read "A New Earth". It was a bit too noisy to really get engulfed in it... so I'll have to try again tonight. I am excited about it.

Once I was back at my Aunt's, I went for a run and took their dog Bran with me. We had a good time running around for half an hour.

Now, I am going to study Astronomy for a bit and have a snack.

xx

under that cloud

Today has been a long day. I woke up this morning and had to pack for my trip to Vancouver. Then, I went to grab some breakfast at the caf. I started to study for Astronomy after that, and was frustrated when I couldn't figure out how to use the online study guide. So, I emailed my prof, and he emailed me back saying that even he had trouble with it, and not to worry about it! So I was happy to hear about that. Around 1:30, I went to grab a snack from the Biblio cafe, and clean up my room. I headed out to the bus around 2:45... I took the 26 down the the T&C mall, then I walked over to my next bus stop, and caught the 70 to Swartz Bay... I caught the 5:00 ferry, and then from there I had to catch the PCL (from right off the ferry) to downtown, where my Aunt picked me up. Ugh, lots of travel time, when you don't have a car!

Then, we came back, and my Uncle cooked us a yummy dinner. Ooh, I can't wait for home-cooked meals! Now, I've just been hanging out with my cousin SamSam, and we watched The Office. Oh, I just love that show! hahaa.

Tomorrow, I think I'm going to wake up early and study Astronomy for a bit. Then Sam is gonna take me downtown to Robson and I'm going to do some shopping. We may hit up H&M as well. hip hip.

xx

thank youu.

So just a quick shout-out to Trey, who sent me a message about one of my blogs. He was telling me about this book that he reading called "A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purposes". Anyways, I wanted to share the part that he copied out for me. I find it extremely inspiring and calming. I now really want to buy the book and read it! Plus, it's one of Oprah's picks!

"...In the West, it is the physical appearance of the body that contributes greatly to the sense of who you think you are: its strength or weakness, its perceived beauty or ugliness relative to others. For many people, their sense of self-worth is intimately bound up with their physical strength, good looks, fitness, and external appearance. Many feel a diminished sense of self-worth because they perceive their body as ugly or imperfect.
In some cases, the mental image or concept of "my body" is a complete distortion of reality. A young woman may think of herself as overweight and therefore starve herself when in fact she is quite thin. She cannot see her body anymore. All she "sees" is the mental concept of her body, which says "I am fat" or "I will become fat." At the root of this condition lies identification with the mind. As people have become more and more mind-identified, which is the intensification of egoic dysfunction, there has also been a dramatic increase in the incidence of anorexia in recent decades...
...Those who are identified with their good looks, physical strength, or abilities experience suffering when those attributes begin to fade and disappear, as of course they will..."


Hopefully you enjoy that as much as I did. If anyone else is reading or has read that book, please let me know!

xx

goodies

1 down, 3 to go.

lucky 13

13 days until I will be returning to Cranbrook. I am starting to be excited about going home. However, I am only really excited to be at home, sleeping in my big bed, eating dinner with my family, spending time with my family, and seeing a few important people.

I have my Nutrition exam in an hour and a half. I feel like I have been studying my butt off for this exam. I hope it pays off.

I went to return some of my books today. I got $82 in cash. I tried to return some other books, but they weren't selling them back yet. So hopefully they will be in demand soon, because they are worth a lot of money!! I also went to pick up some assignments from English. I got a B, and a B-. I was pretty excited about those marks. I have a B average in that class; I have to do a re-do essay, so hopefully I can bump up my mark as well.

Tomorrow, I am headed off to Vancouver. I have to catch the 26 at 3:10, then the 70, and hopefully be at the ferry terminal around 4:35. I hope to catch the 5:00 o'clock ferry, and be over on the mainland at 6:40. Then... I have to take the PCL off the ferry to the bus depot and my aunt will pick me up around 7:30. Yup, lots of travel time just to get to Vancouver. But, it will be worth it. I am going to start to study for Astronomy, and do some shopping. I will return back to Victoria on Sunday evening.

Next week will be a busy one with studying for Astronomy, and starting to study for Math. There are 4 math review sessions that I will be attending as well. I am really trying to get great marks this semester... so I'm studying as much as possible.

Anyways, I should go grab something to eat before my exam.
xx

frizzy waves

So, my flat iron broke. This is the second time that it's happened in a year. Now I have to have a whole new hair routine just to have it looking semi-normal. I have to wash my hair, put mousse in it while it's wet, crunch it after that... then I have to let it air dry. If I blow dry it, it will not work. So I let it air dry, but then I have to sleep on it. And then, when I wake in the morning, I have to put a little more mousse in it, just to make it happy. And, ta-da...waves (with a little frizz!)

Anyways, so I spent a boring weekend on campus. On Friday however, I went out for dinner with the ladies. It was really fun: we went to Earls and I always love Earls...so the food was delicious, and the company was super. For the rest of my time I have been essay writing and studying for Nutrition. I spent some time in the library, but most of it in my room. I went running on Saturday and Sunday, and there is a house where they sell daffodils on the sidewalk. It's $2.50 for a bunch. There is no one there selling them, so it's all in good trust that you leave money for the flowers you take. I would like to buy some one day before I leave.

I am going to Vancouver on Thursday night. I will probably stay until Sunday afternoon. I plan on studying for two of the days, and shopping for one of the days. I need a little time away from Victoria, and it's so boring being on campus all day studying.

I write my Nutrition exam on Wednesday night. Last night I did all the chapter tests online in both multiple choice form and true/false. I did better in the true/false.

Tomorrow I am meeting Carli for breakfast/brunch/coffee after her morning exam. I am excited to catch up with her because I haven't seen her in over two weeks! We're going to the new cafe in the library, and I am really excited. Then, I'll probably do some more studying, and maybe a run if it's not raining. The weather says it is supposed to rain all day, but sometimes they are wrong.

Tonight I watched Atonement. It was really good. Nothing like I really expected, well actually I had no idea what it was about. I found it incredibly romantic, both love romance, and romantic. I loved everything that Keira Knightly wore, and the scenery was breathtaking. The ending made me cry, and it made me frustrated. Anyways, if you haven't yet seen it: rent it!

Anyways, I should be off.
I'll write more soon.
xx

i'll say it again.

You can't judge the love by the lover,
the sky by it's thunder,
the road with no name.

messy.

april, aglow

This life is a beautiful one, and
though I've seen it coming undone, I know most definitely
that it's gonna be you and it's gonna be me.

We are all lovers and takers
breaking hearts to make the papers
she wants love, I told her to stop trying
cause the reasons for her tears
aren't worth crying.

The only thing that can save me now is:
love, love, love.

making eyes.

It's a blue, bright blue Saturday, hey hey,
I'm in a backless dress, on a pastel ward that's shining.
Do you really want to know how I was dancing on that floor?
And there's a tune at things you say that you don't do...

soda pop

Today was so nice out. I woke up this morning to blue skies and sunshine, so I went for a run. Then I came back, got ready, and went to soak up the sun by the fountain. I started to work on my last English essay... and now I'm back in my room eating lunch, and deciding what to do next.

I've been watching all the seasons of The Office lately. It makes me laugh out loud. Dale burnt them for me, and I have just started season three!

Tonight I'm going to study and continue to work on my essay.

There's nothing really new to report besides the vacuum always missing. It's really annoying. I think people hide it in their rooms to have for whenever they wanna use it. Well, I haven't vacuumed in awhile and I'd really appreciate a friggen vacuum cleaner.

I think I'll nap now.
xx

ps. download A&E by Goldfrapp